Never Alive

by The Suicider

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2nd LP of suicidal band.


released January 24, 2017

Michail Tatarinov (lead and backing vocals, guitars)
Sergey Iliyn (lead guitars and backing vocals)
Pavel Alenchev (Bass)
Maxim Konnov (drums)

All music by Sergey Iliyn and Michail Tatarinov, except (11), by Alexey Razorenov.
All lyrics by Michail Tatarinov.
Piano in (07) by Michail Filatov.

Album was recorded, mixed and mastered in 2016, at DAY Records, by Eugeniy Vinogradov.



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The Suicider Moscow, Russia

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Track Name: Joy Of Release
verse 1

I will never take the role
What I don’t want to perform
All shit and stupid lies
Wild decisions of my life
You will believe it
When you see it with your eyes
Don’t try to stop me
From suicide


I know it's time to set me free
It's my last song you hear
So rise your cup and let me be
I say goodbye

verse 2

You can pray to save my soul
Or spit curses of your own
My release is going now
I don’t care that you allow
Enjoy your feeling
Build illusions of your death
Stay and listen
To my last breath
Track Name: Never Alive
verse 1

I can breath but never walk
They just say it's not their fault
I can’t be here more alive
In existence what is mine

I will never leave this state
It is all the twist of fate
All I want is just to die
But decision is not mine


I see it
Iron wheels beneath my feet
I can’t be
More then what they need


Time keeps running wild
I will stay alive
In meaningless and empty shell of pain
Want to end it's all
When I lose control
In the calm and cold sweet feeling of decay

verse 2

Cannot move and cannot talk
Only hear my heartbeat clock
I can’t wait to end my days
In delusion of disgrace

I can’t even kill myself
Like an item on the shelf
My own will is not my right
I will stay never alive

Pre chorus

They see me
Poor old being out of cold
They can’t know
What I really want!
Track Name: 2012
verse 1

I cannot sleep this winter night
Awaiting when it's come to end
It can’t be one more fake again
When last minutes takes forever
One last breath or word. Whatever.
Now it's time! Take us all beyond!


Why’s all this shame
Death hasn't come for me
Why should I stay
In existence of decay

verse 2

What a shame, we still alive
Nothing happens in this night
All the signs were just a fake again
Why I must be one to suffer?
I can’t wait one day or other
I will do. All alone. By myself.


Why’s all this shame
Death hasn't come for me
Why should I stay
In existence of decay
Dying at sunrise
Doing all myself
Nothing to regret
After world's end
Track Name: Nothing More
verse 1

Last ride on this road
Got a bad sign call
After drinking a lot after dusk

No time to live in this shit
No time to see through lies


You ride tonight trying to forget
All things she’ve told you are leaving some regrets
Remember how she’ve betrayed you before
Ride to the wall and nothing more

verse 2

So far from home
You're alone all night
Riding to meet your fate

Come on! Let’s do it right now
It's time to set things clear

Dead end straight ahead
Now they all shall see
What is going on in your brain

So spread yourself on the wall
No matter what they say
Track Name: All I Want To...
verse 1

Left behind
So alone
And the end of bottle is not so far
Want some more
Some more funny time
Got to call and all the road is mine


All I want to drink
All I want to fuck
So far away
In the night
All I ever do
Lies in you
Walking away
Like all people do
All I want to...

verse 2

Love the night
It's so dark
Noone will see my state and smiling face
Now I'm near
Near that holy place
Where all dreams come true but not for you

You will break my mind
But all that's in vain
Track Name: Distant Lights
verse 1

Last time we saw the distant lights
We were so close in our last night
Believe me, now I'll take you over emptiness and pain

Right now stay fallen
And bleed with me
Start moaning. Let's see.


Lets try to die again tonight
Last time we’ve been so close
We’ve seen the distant lights
Just hold my hand and die tonight
I will lead you trough
And take care of you

verse 2

It's almost over
It's our last night
We'll see the light

Like I did it many times
All we need to see the lights
But this night it'll be last time
Track Name: My Last Wish
verse 1

It would be better for me
To never meet you in my life
Together breathing as one
The biggest wrong turn in all times

And now I'll try to find a way to die somehow
Cos there is no more place for me
But only one thing stops myself from being free
Your life. It's very hard to see.


Baby, tell me how long I will suffer
After realizing that all was just a game
You came with another
My last wish
Your name written on next grave

verse 2

I can't believe even now
These things what happened in our time
And now I'm drinking all day
And all night. And right now.

But only one thing stops and pulls me out of noose
It's very easy to explain
I hate myself like always in so common way
But hate for you is not the same


Baby, tell me how long I will suffer
After realizing that all was just a game
You came with another
My last wish
Your name written on next grave
How long I will hate you
I can't wait for day when I shall leave this place
Can't allow you remain
You will come with me
To the world beyond my hate
Track Name: Try To Do It Right
verse 1

Take your blade
Make it sharp
And be sure it's not blunt

Find a place
Better dark
To be sure you'll not be found

Feel your vein
Better wide
Be calm and don’t miss the line

Don’t be rush
Take your time
Cos you will be no more alive


You will not survive
If you do it right


Remember now, it will end your life and you will be no more
Just try to die. Take advice, cut straight along
Don’t be afraid. Nothing left for you in whole this stupid world
Just do it right. You will be no more and no one gonna care for you

verse 2

See your blood
Coming out
Fill the soil with its warmth

Close your eyes
And relax
What’s done is done

Feel the cold
Now it's time
Slow your heart and die

Be so proud
All is done
And hope you're not alone
Track Name: Stars
Verse 1

You think you’re cool and better than all
Another step you take to close your sunny days
All the way from below
And now it seems your race is near
It’s final place


Stars are dying
They all fall around you
Now you’re crying
Cos it's time for yours too
All illusions will die

verse 2

Now you can't stop the running of time
And now it's killing you like everyone around
It's end of the line
So cut your wrist and let all go to the ground


Stars are dying
They all fall around you
Now you’re crying
Cos it's time for yours too
All illusions will die
Now you see it
All you've done is gone to dust
No more shining
It will be buried and is lost
Like all stars you will die
Track Name: Like Ice
verse 1

In the end I will see all in you
In despise I will do like I always do
Another time another lie
It spills from your dirty soul (never alive)
And when I`ve realized it twice
My heart’s gone down cold like ice


Want to see what is better for my soul
Another radiation that burns inside my being as before
Want to feel what it's like for me to fall
It will change all the things around me and never be.. never as before

verse 2

You still try to show me that you were right
Play your games, I dont care how many times you try
Another time another mask
You wear to show what you are saint (another lie)
I only wish that I could kill you twice
Because you made me cold like ice
Track Name: Epitaph
verse 1

She was a good girl
Always going with smile
But one sunny day
She choose to end her life

verse 2

He was a nice man
With world beneath his feet
But he realized
What life is not what he need


How empty was your life
And death should be alright


And now we falling
At the dusk of our lives
But yet still trying
And still dying
when we came to realize

We always feel it
How was empty our days
And with a sad smile
Of misfortune
We continue falling from grace

verse 3

He was an old man
With years of life in vain
At the dusk of life
He wanted to end the pain


How empty was his life
And death should be alright